RESPECT - A FOUNDATION OF PEACE

WITHOUT CONQUEST, PEACE WITHOUT RESPECT IS UNATTAINABLE.

I wish to explore one of the foundations of life on earth, “Respect.” I write here of man’s relation to man although, man’s respect for nature and the world will ensure a harmonious life for himself with the earth, its foliage and its creatures that provides sustenance for his body and his sense of beauty.

Webster’s: Respect: to consider worthy of high regard, esteem, to refrain from interfering with. Though there are more meanings to the word, these three relationship definitions are the essence of this essay.

To respect another person requires each of us to hold each other in high regard. The simplest way of assuring that relationship requirement is hold others in the same regard as we wish to be held. Just as we do not wish to be judged by our clothing, our speech, our ethnicity, our beauty, our posture, our knowledge or intelligence, or any other quality that is different from the person judging us, so too, we must not judge others. The simple fact of another’s existence demands respect, demands high regard. And, as in so many aspects of life, give and ye shall receive.

To esteem another brings emotion and judgment into the equation. We all start with our own very fundamental personal perceptions of life in general when we are called upon to judge another. More easily we can say that we like someone at first sight, or the opposite, we are put off or even repelled by another at first sight. But that is our individual response to an individual and says nothing about the quality of the other. The quality of the other remains inviolate just as our own quality remains inviolate regardless of anyone else’s opinion of us. Just as the wealthy person is put off by one of meager means, the poorer person is not diminished any more than the wealthy person by this perception. And of course, the opposite is true. Each, in fairness, mandates respect equally from the other.

To refrain from interfering with another covers a broad range of behavior by each individual. Generally, it is the more powerful that interferes with the less powerful. Each of us in any relationship generally knows who is the more powerful. The boss over the employees, the teacher over the students, the parents over the children, knows. However, the master over the slave is not a comparable relationship. That last relationship is an excellent measuring device when we evaluate whether we are interfering with another and therefore, not respectful of the other.

Respect of the parent for the child is the most transparent relationship that exists that shows whether respect at all exists in the powerful person. The parent always falls back on the excuse that he is doing what he or she believes to be best for the child. “Sit up” and “Stand straight” and “Speak respectfully” and “Use your napkin,” are intended to be educational statements by parents. Generally, however, they show an interference with the inferior’s, the child’s personhood. Respect of the parent for the child is a marvelous window into the awareness of those people into the meaning of “Respect.”

We all need respect. Sadly, we often repeat the ill-informed functional aspects of respect that we learned from our parents who demanded respect without giving it. And so I go back to the original definition; “Respect: to consider worthy of high regard, esteem, to refrain from interfering with.” If we can give and hold each other to that same standard of respect that we wish for ourselves, we will live in a happier world.